As Though They Had None

1st Corinthians chapter 7 used to bother me deeply. I felt Paul was kind of putting down something I held very dear to me. My marriage. When I would read this chapter I would get angry and say, "Yeah Paul. We get it. You're not married so no one else should be either." And while Paul does express the blessings of being unmarried, that's not his point at all.

I'm mainly going to stick with vs 32-35

But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of this world- how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the thing of this world- how she may please her husband. And I say this for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

Paul makes a very clear point here. Those who are married care about the other. Their focus is their marriage. How they can please each other. The wife is focused on make her husband happy. The husband focused on making the wife happy.

In the beginning of my marriage and up to the point of God opening my eyes to this chapter, my focus was on Sean. He was at the forefront of my mind at most times. Which, to most, including me, isn't a bad thing. Its not bad to want to please your husband. But Paul's point here is that my focus on pleasing my husband takes away from my focus of pleasing the Lord. He calls it a distraction from pleasing the Lord.

The married couple's focus is on each other, rather than on the Lord.

Paul's point here is that an unmarried woman needs to worry about NOTHING other than her Jesus. Her focus is on how she may please Him. How her life may be dedicated to serving Him. She focuses on keeping herself pure and holy before the Lord. Then when she gets married, her focus shifts and she becomes more concerned with pleasing her husband.  When our focus is on anything but the Lord, we have trouble. 

Paul writes in vs 28: But even if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless, Such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.

To marry is not a sin....but you will have trouble. Because when you marry, your focus shifts to that of the world (the spouse) rather than the focus being on Christ. 

Then Paul says something very interesting in vs 29. This was the verse that always made me angry. I couldn't understand what in the world Paul was saying. He says

But this I say brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even, those who have wives should be as though they had none.

Is Paul really telling my husband, and even me, that we should act as though we did not have a wife? Yes. But not in the way I originally thought.


Paul was clear that unmarried people have a blessings. He calls it a GIFT to remain single forever. Paul worries only about the way he can please the Lord. The unmarried man and woman only care about the ways they can please God. Their focus is on Him.  When we get married, our focus, usually willingly, switches to being on our spouse and pleasing them. Paul is telling us that once we are married, we should STILL focus on the Lord as we did before we were married. We should still aim to please God as we would if we had no wife or husband.

Ladies, no marriage can be fulfilling if you're focusing on that sinner of a husband you have. And your husbands life cannot be fulfilling if he is focusing on the sinner of a wife that you are. Our focus must be on God.

But some might ask, "If I don't make time and focus on our marriage, then it will fail"  and I would say you're missing the big picture.

Jesus says in Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.' If our focus is on God and how we can please HIM, everything else will be taken care of. I have huge reason (both from experience and observation) that the vast majority of why marriages fail is for no other reason besides the focus not being on the Lord. If both spouses are focused on each other, its never a pretty picture. But if our focus is on the Lord, all we can see is His beauty and we rest in the fullness of joy that comes through seeking after Him. All we are left with is the satisfaction He brings in any circumstance.

Marriage is a beautiful thing given to us by God.  And not everyone can be as Paul and remain single forever. But we can strive to focus on the Lord.

Is your marriage hurting? Turn your eyes to Jesus.  Is your marriage about to fail? Turn your eyes to Jesus. He is where our focus should be.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.