1st Corinthians chapter 7 used to bother me deeply. I felt Paul was kind of putting down something I held very dear to me. My marriage. When I would read this chapter I would get angry and say, "Yeah Paul. We get it. You're not married so no one else should be either." And while Paul does express the blessings of being unmarried, that's not his point at all.
I'm mainly going to stick with vs 32-35
But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of this world- how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the thing of this world- how she may please her husband. And I say this for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
Paul makes a very clear point here. Those who are married care about the other. Their focus is their marriage. How they can please each other. The wife is focused on make her husband happy. The husband focused on making the wife happy.
In the beginning of my marriage and up to the point of God opening my eyes to this chapter, my focus was on Sean. He was at the forefront of my mind at most times. Which, to most, including me, isn't a bad thing. Its not bad to want to please your husband. But Paul's point here is that my focus on pleasing my husband takes away from my focus of pleasing the Lord. He calls it a distraction from pleasing the Lord.
The married couple's focus is on each other, rather than on the Lord.
Paul's point here is that an unmarried woman needs to worry about NOTHING other than her Jesus. Her focus is on how she may please Him. How her life may be dedicated to serving Him. She focuses on keeping herself pure and holy before the Lord. Then when she gets married, her focus shifts and she becomes more concerned with pleasing her husband. When our focus is on anything but the Lord, we have trouble.
Paul writes in vs 28: But even if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless, Such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
To marry is not a sin....but you will have trouble. Because when you marry, your focus shifts to that of the world (the spouse) rather than the focus being on Christ.
Then Paul says something very interesting in vs 29. This was the verse that always made me angry. I couldn't understand what in the world Paul was saying. He says
But this I say brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even, those who have wives should be as though they had none.
Is Paul really telling my husband, and even me, that we should act as though we did not have a wife? Yes. But not in the way I originally thought.
Paul was clear that unmarried people have a blessings. He calls it a GIFT to remain single forever. Paul worries only about the way he can please the Lord. The unmarried man and woman only care about the ways they can please God. Their focus is on Him. When we get married, our focus, usually willingly, switches to being on our spouse and pleasing them. Paul is telling us that once we are married, we should STILL focus on the Lord as we did before we were married. We should still aim to please God as we would if we had no wife or husband.
Ladies, no marriage can be fulfilling if you're focusing on that sinner of a husband you have. And your husbands life cannot be fulfilling if he is focusing on the sinner of a wife that you are. Our focus must be on God.
But some might ask, "If I don't make time and focus on our marriage, then it will fail" and I would say you're missing the big picture.
Jesus says in Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.' If our focus is on God and how we can please HIM, everything else will be taken care of. I have huge reason (both from experience and observation) that the vast majority of why marriages fail is for no other reason besides the focus not being on the Lord. If both spouses are focused on each other, its never a pretty picture. But if our focus is on the Lord, all we can see is His beauty and we rest in the fullness of joy that comes through seeking after Him. All we are left with is the satisfaction He brings in any circumstance.
Marriage is a beautiful thing given to us by God. And not everyone can be as Paul and remain single forever. But we can strive to focus on the Lord.
Is your marriage hurting? Turn your eyes to Jesus. Is your marriage about to fail? Turn your eyes to Jesus. He is where our focus should be.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.
I spent some time this morning journaling. Praying... telling the Lord the things on my heart.
Lately I've felt like I'm wandering through the desert. The uncertainty of where God wants me seems unceasing. Since the beginning of 2011, I have been wandering around feeling like, at any moment I would break. I've tried my hardest to not give in to emotional outbursts or look like the crazy wavering woman. And as someone who has struggled with perfectionism and legalism, allowing myself to break down once in a while is a humiliating and scary thing. I have to constantly remind myself that I am a broken human. That I was pulled out of death, saved only by His grace. I have to constantly remind myself that there's nothing I can do to make Him love me any more or any less. And I have to constantly remind myself that the trials I'm facing REALLY ARE for my eventual perfection, and even greater, God's glory.
When I heard the news that we would be moving across the country, away from my family...away from my church family, panic set it. Then anger. Then mourning. Then acceptance. From being so busy with the move I didn't really have time to reflect and maybe out of my anger I chose not to go to God with my feelings. With my questions. I could hear Him speaking to my heart begging me to go to Him but I couldn't. I didn't know what I would say. So I bit the bullet and dealt with it the best way I could. Stuffing it inside... and then having random outbursts of emotion. (This is not recommended...)
Since moving to North Carolina, after getting the house settled, I still find myself out of sorts. My husband hasn't worked steadily for over 3 months. I haven't been to church in over a month because I have no church home. I haven't used my gifts in so long. I just feel an over all sense of sadness. I feel lost. I feel confused. And I feel my perfectionism creeping back in. Those lies that Satan loves to tell me.
I came upstairs this morning thinking I would write about Apostleship and suffering. Judgement that goes with being a steward of God's word. But all I could do was cry. And write. And share with God my sadness and my fears. My loneliness and confusion. And I was led to the Psalms. The book of sorrows and joys. I love the Psalms. They help me to know that its normal to feel pain. And the comfort of God that is intertwined in the turmoil is beautiful.
Psalm 55
Give ear to my prayer, O God, and do not hide your face from my supplication. Attend to me, and hear me; I am restless in my complaint and moan noisily.
Then in verse 4: My hear is severely pained within me and the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me, and horror has overwhelmed me.
So I said "OH that I had wing like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. Indeed I would wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest.
Oh that I wings like a dove. How I feel like this so much. I'm so tired. Not knowing what God has for me or my family is exhausting. Waiting on Him to move has got to be one of the most exhausting ways to grow. Trusting in His plan is sometimes painful. Especially when it takes so long to manifest. Feeling the enemy try to steal away your joy and hope of His promise. Comforting to know that he wont succeed. This life wants to destroy us. It wants to tear us down. Satan and all his helpers are waiting everywhere ready to lie and take away any amount of peace we can find. Jesus promised us that in this life, we WILL have troubles. And when we are in the troubles more often then we aren't, we wonder how much longer we can go. How much of the enemies darts can we withstand? How long can we go without having any answers? And what do we do when God just doesn't seem to hear us?
David goes on to say in vs 16: As for me, I will call upon God and the Lord shall save me. Evening and morning and at noon I will pray and cry aloud and He shall hear my voice. He has redeemed my soul in Peace from the battle that was against me.
We call upon the Lord. Morning, noon and night. WE CRY out to Him. In the depth of despair and in the time of trouble...we cry out to Him. HE has REDEEMED my soul In peace from the battle that was against me. Those are precious words to me. I want to say that. He will redeem my soul. He will give me rest. He hears me.
Vs22: Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you. He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
He will sustain me. When I feel like I can't go anymore... I call out to Him and He shall sustain me. He gives me just a little bit more...and a little bit more.
I don't know what God has for me. I don't know when I'm going to be out of the desert. I don't know how long this is going to last. But I will cry out to the Lord and HE will sustain me. He will not allow me to be moved.
Thank you Father for these trials. Thank you for this desert. Thank you for your comfort. And for your promise that you have a plan for me. I am sustained.
In my last entry, I posted about God choosing the weak things of the world to shame the wise. Paul made it pretty clear in that chapter that the wisdom of men is dangerous. Deceitful to both the person possessing the worldly wisdom, and dangerous to those around him. We tend to admire and look up to those who are smarter than us. Thinking that they must some how be better than us because they are smarter. But as I saw in chapter one of 1st Corinthians, God chooses the ones who are broken down and seemingly useless by the standards of the world.
When I continued on in chapters 2 and 3, I found myself a bit disappointed because I wasn't receiving this "GREAT FEEL GOOD" message from the chapters. It seemed to just be reiterating the same stuff as chapter one. But how silly of me. If God's word is divinely inspired and His hand upon each word that was written by the men HE chose to write them, there's gotta be more than what I'm seeing. And if Paul is taking 3 chapters to talk about the same topic, its gotta be important. So I prayed. Asking God to reveal to me what His point is. And here is the little love note that came with the bouquet of flowers my father sent to me this morning. Another reminder of just how precious He views His children...
But it is written: Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.(Isaiah) But GOD has revealed them to US through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the SPIRIT who is from GOD, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God. (1st Corinthians 2:9-13)
This is our gift. The Spirit of the Living God. Without it, no one can understand the mind of Christ. No one can be transformed into something beautiful. Without it, no one can know the Love of the Father. Without it, no one can have Eternal life....
Further in vs 14 it says "But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them because they are spiritually discerned."
I am completely overwhelmed this morning. What a precious love note from the Creator of this universe. Its like I woke up this morning and received a dozen roses. A beautiful courtship between God and His children. This is the story of Cinderella. The world persecuting and calling the weak dumb. The world telling me that I am worthless and nothing. Judging me because I never went to school. Or because I had an alcohol problem. Or because I had a baby before marriage. The world beating me up. Me being a slave to sin and making me dirty. But all this time God had His eye on me. Thinking I was beautiful. And He has chosen me to be His bride. He picked me up out of the dirt and cleansed me with the blood of His only Son. Then He sent His Spirit to dwell within me and transform my mind. And He gave me His word to share with me His secrets. The deepest secrets that NO ONE ELSE CAN KNOW except for the ones He chooses to reveal them to and it doesn't stop there. He's coming back for me. To rescue me from this world. To call me His bride and take me into His kingdom forever.
God has chosen to reveal to US the things of God. When Christ died, upon belief we receive the Spirit of God IN US. And we are then able to understand the mind of God. Verse 16 says "For 'who has the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?' BUT WE HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST!"
Chosen: The weak things to shame the wise.
We are wise in the things of God. Which are the things that matter. The GIFT we are given is the SPIRIT which discerns all truth of God. Without it, no one can understand.
This is love of the Father. This is the Cinderella story. He shares with us His deepest secrets... His mind. His heart. And He's coming back for us one day. To clothe us in beautiful linens and make us His bride.
He Loves us......
